Every completely connected conqueror in Evony (A TriplePoint client) knows their way around ridiculously massive armies, and the troops that make them up. If you’re going to unite the lands of your server under your own flag, you’re going to need a whole bunch of soldiers, and you’ll need a whole bunch of kinds of soldiers. At last count, there were a dozen different troop types in Evony, and while that might be enough for some people, let’s face it: More is always better. It’s high time Evony branched out and offered the modern tyrant a better selection of dedicated troops.
After all, after a while, some of the current standbys start to blend together. What is a Swordsman, after all, but a Warrior who got his hands on a nicer weapon, and be perfectly honest – you had no idea what the heck a “Cataphract” was before you went online and looked it up.
Thankfully, the Evony community is always offering up their ideas for the ideal additions to their favorite game, and if you spend enough time hanging around with them, you begin to think so, too. Here are just a few of the ideal troops that really (but not really) ought to be included in Evony.
First of all, by not including ninjas in their game, Evony is breaking one of the core rules of the Internet: If you are on the Internet, you need to include ninjas. It’s not like they’d break the mold while they broke your enemies’ faces, either; Evony is already a universe where swords are readily available, and if movies have taught us nothing else, it is that ninjas always attack in massive hordes that would mesh nicely with Evony’s staggering army sizes. There is no reason not to include these extremely deadly assassins and played-out memes in Evony immediately.
Any player would be limited to only 300 of these units at any given time, but they would be incredible. Also, using these units would make every battle occur in inexplicable slow-motion, and would replace a city’s Town Hall with an equally inexplicable bottomless pit.
It is impossible to take suggestions for new Evony Heroes without seeing a recurring request for a prominent Texas Ranger from popular fiction, so why not make that fiction into a faction? The Texas Ranger unit would, as per tradition, be a mounted soldier, but would have the seemingly unfair advantage of carrying modern firearms into combat, making him more than a match for most of Evony’s existing units. This would be balanced out, however, by its rather limited use: If the land you are fighting over is outside the jurisdiction of the state of Texas, this unit would not be able to participate.
Sure, sure, we hear you saying these are already in Evony. Collect a massive contingent of Archers, and have them go to town when you go to your opponent’s town. Still, with Archer Bombs being as popular as they are, really the logical extension of this idea is to make actual Archer Bombs. So, we propose a small arrow-sized weapon, capable of a remote launch from any sturdy longbow, but with the arrowhead replaced by a modest payload of enriched uranium and a lightweight blasting cap. Archer Bombs will be much more intimidating when raining down hellfire via bow-launched tactical nukes.