iFun4All Releasing Worst iPhone Game Ever

Fri, Jan 22, 2010

iPhone

Look, I’m not trying to be overly critical, folks. I haven’t seen the game; for all I know, it could be a hidden gem of sublime gaming brilliance. If the developers at iFun4All have met their goals, however, “Crap of Defense” will release next week for the iPhone as the “Worst Game Ever.”

The company claims, via press release, to have cobbled together the software on a budget of 500 Russian rubles, contracting cheap overseas workers wherever possible. I would try to explain further, but the press release speaks for itself — matching, perfectly, the quality their game is aiming for. Read on…

IFUN4ALL AIMS TO CREATE WORST GAME EVER ;)

Read only on your sole responsibility!

Lublin, Poland – 21 January 2010 – Games developer and publisher iFun4all is quick to expand his portfolio of game series in most bizarre way one could think of. They’ve created game so bad that the best title producers could think of was Crap of Defense. To achieve such horrible quality company CEOs limited the budget to equivalent of 500 Russian Roubles and tried to combine remote work of “cost effective” workers worldwide.

“With this title instead of being bad at making good game we tried to be good at making bad game” said Laszlo Kovács, Hungary–based project manager and lead programmer (cheapest one iFun4all were able to find _worldwide_).

“Our idea was to make tower–of–defense type of game and reverse the concept” says Fülöp Mészáros, one of most world–renown Hungarian designers (out of two). “In normal ToD game you place the towers and they shoot automatically. In our game you have your tower already placed and you shoot it yourself. It has to be fun!” continues Fülöp, who was fired from the company as soon as beta tests proved correctness of his assumptions (or rather lack of it).

The unique, artistic old-fashion graphic “paper” style of the game is an effect of long-term search of the proper artist. iFun4all found it in the person of young genius painter from exotic East. “Work on this game was extremely hard. We don’t have computers in our village so I had to paint everything on paper and hence the style” mentions Zhào Wáng, young freelance artist from China.

Characteristic music style of the game immediately reminds us of old USSR military anthems. “It’s because the last music our composer Boris Czernienko heard before he gone deaf 20 years ago was Soviet National Anthem” says Laszlo. “We tried to tell him that it would be better if he would move on and compose something different, but he won’t listen”, Laszlo complains. “Well, maybe that’s because he technically can’t hear” arguments Fülöp, who was re-hired because no other designer wanted to continue his work. “Boris is the cheapest person in the team. He actually paid us so we would use his music. Without him we couldn’t afford to finish the production” talks back Laszlo.

Lead programmer told also something about difficulties connected with making games for iPhone. “The biggest obstacle with Apple development is 100 USD fee for their site. This is pure robbery!” Laszlo complains. “With iPhone devices it is much easier. You can buy them very cheaply from local thieves, especially in summer when there are a lot of rich American tourists in Hungary” he adds.

Fülöp adds that they had another problem during the development process – “We’ve heard that to be successful at Apple store you have to have good engine. So we’ve found really good one from old black Volga at a local car-scrap. But to be honest we didn’t see this any use in our game. Maybe it works better for driving games?” – he wonders.

“We believe we are opening new chapter in gaming history”, comments Laszlo just a moments before submitting game to the App Store on a rented computer.

Crap of Defense will start the apocalypse on the App Store next week.

I can hardly wait.

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