Look, I don’t know how you do things beneath the surface, but here on land, we do not engage in sandwich-based love affairs, and we certainly don’t have them at the center of our celebrity rehab scandals and philanthropy gone wrong. If this is how sandwiches work underwater, then I am turning in my SCUBA license right now, and thanking TriplePoint client PlayFirst for the timely warning. In today’s update on the What’s in the Water website, we are introduced to, and immediately brought to revile, a “troubled young starlet” named Idi, who is apparently a fish with a crippling sandwich addiction.
I just… I don’t understand sandwiches the way I thought I did. Apparently Idi formed a charity in order to collect all of the discarded sandwich crates, ostensibly for distribution to the poor and starving in her neck of the sea. Then she immediately cracked those boxes open and ate the sandwiches. Because that is what former fish child stars do. Because there are fish child stars in the first place, apparently.
I’m not sure even the potential trip to Hawaii is going to make up for the permanent confusion I now feel from these blogs. Tomorrow, though, PlayFirst promises some major news that I am hoping will explain everything.