Crab Loves Sandwiches Despite Intense Sogginess

Tue, Apr 23, 2013

Casual, Contests, Frisky Misc

Yesterday, we knew only that TriplePoint client PlayFirst was teasing their new game by hurling sandwiches into the sea. Seems like there’s easier ways to feed the marine life, but I am not a biologist; presumably someone at PlayFirst has conducted a recent study on the effects of hoagies on endemic species of the Pacific Coral Reef. Heck, I can’t even tell you if mongooses like sandwiches, and that seems like something I ought to know. But! Today, we’ve got updates on those sunken sandwiches. We still don’t know why they were hurled into the water, but we do know what became of them: a crab had a tawdry affair with them, and this may have cost him his marriage. Uh… what?

That is a crab in a smoking jacket, who today “comes out” on the What’s in the Water website about his secret sandwich passion. I quote:

Never have I experienced something so exotic, so full of life, so easily paired with chips or a light salad. In a single bite, I knew that the life I had of super stardom and marriage to a beautiful and ordinarily non-violent woman was a sham, and that it was time to accept as much and move into the future with my head held high. I had hoped to put this moment off until much later, like when I was retired and living large off royalties from all my snip-fu training videos, but sometimes your wife catches you whispering sweet nothings to a BLT and, well, one thing just kinda leads to another.

Man, there is a lot I didn’t know about both arthropod mating habits and… what you could do with sandwiches. In fact, I kind of regret having this new knowledge. But, if you want to read the whole tawdry affair, it’s over here, along with an ongoing chance to win a trip to Hawaii, where presumably you can watch all the crab/sandwich relations firsthand.

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